Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The happiest place on Earth.

Ukraine's Emergency Situations Ministry has announced that it is planning to officially open Chernobyl to tourism as early as next month.

Although Chernobyl has been an unofficial tourist destination for years, Kyiv's government said that radition is 'returning to normal' and plans to establish a safe tour route through Chernobyl and the abandoned towns around it.

If you're worried that you'll come back from your Chernobyl tour looking like the Simpsons' three-eyed fish, don't worry: according to a spokeswoman for the Emergency Situations Ministry, which I imagine could cover anything from a nuclear meltdown to realizing that you're out of toilet paper, the tour operators will have to "meet strict criteria in order to operate."

Which is reassuring, because nothing says "strict safety standards" to me like a crumbling nuclear accident site in the middle of a former satellite country in Eastern Europe. In fact, after my Chernobyl tour, I may go get a new kidney at one of their awesomely safe black-market organ operations!

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