Sunday, June 26, 2011

Pop Eater

So, I like to watch addiction shows. This is how it usually goes:
Me: Think I'll sit here on the couch and watch Hoarders. A few minutes pass. Man, that is a messy house. Wow.
There's an empty glass on the living room table. Better take that to the dishwasher.

Ah! Dishes in the sink. Should wash those.

That person saves magazines.

I save magazines. Starts having images of my living room being filmed. It's possible to make anyone look like they have a behavioral problem using slow fades and ominous music! Starts frantically cleaning.

True story. Whenever I need to straighten up and am feeling unmotivated, I turn on Hoarders. I've never gotten more than fifteen minutes into any given episode before having to go tear apart the stove or something. And now there's a new addiction show joining the TLC lineup: Freaky Eaters!

Wait, what? See below:

That's right. Addicted. To cheesy potatoes. Sure, addiction shows may not seem very relevant to you when they're about, I don't know, heroin or eating toilet paper rolls, but cheesy potatoes? I went through a phase where I ate scrambled eggs three times a day. For months. During my first year of college, I ate cornflakes and toast for every single meal for an entire semester. I just got off a bacon kick that involved plowing through an entire pack of bacon every five days.

This show is hitting a little too close to home. Gagging when you smell a Brussels sprout? That's like every kid, ever (until you realize that the only way to make them palatable is to fry them in bacon fat and serve them with butter).

Given the success of shows like Intervention and the slew of shows that followed it (My Strange Addiction, Celebrity Rehab, Addicted to Food) it's not surprising that TLC is putting together another show that involves 'addiction' and food, two of the things that Americans do really, really well. But this? It just seems stupid.

Next: Addicted to Air and I Can't Stop Drinking Water!

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