Monday, September 12, 2011

Open Letter Mondays

An Open Letter to Alyssa Campanella, Miss USA

Dear Alyssa,

I understand that when someone tells you to dress in your national costume, it's kind of hard if you are representing America. We don't really have a national costume, per se, unless you wanted to bust out the cowboy hat and plastic six-shooter. Or grubby jeans and Crocs? Either way, I know that this is a bit of a sartorial challenge.

However.


This. This is probably not the route I would have taken.


First of all, I am pretty sure that they did not have bikini waxing back in ye olde revoluntionary times. This is less "proud American" and more "sexy George Washington Halloween costume meets stripper-drum majorette." That hat is wider than your shoulders, for crying out loud. I am feeling embarrassed on your behalf! I know that you personally may not have a lot of input on whatever humiliating getup your handlers are squeezing you into, but I would have called a halt as soon as I heard four foot wide tricorner hat.

Next year, maybe you should dress up as sexy Elvis instead.

Best,
Me

1 comment:

  1. I have just downloaded iStripper, and now I enjoy having the sexiest virtual strippers on my desktop.

    ReplyDelete