Tuesday, November 15, 2011

When is a salad not a salad?

Probably when it is fried in bacon fat, but that is okay, because I am going to share this salad recipe with you. Because you deserve it. And it is great, and you will surprise yourself by being able to eat an entire bag of spinach, but that's okay because it is good for you.

You are going to need:

2 pieces of bacon, if you are normal. If you are me you will need 3, possibly even 4
An entire bag of spinach. But not like the family bag - like the regular size bag. So you are eating three or four servings of spinach, but whatever. Minerals.
A clove of garlic, if you are not me. If you are me, 3 cloves.
A gluggle or two of red wine vinegar.
You will also need a pair of scissors and a large pan with a lid that is deep enough to get the spinach in and then get the lid on. So this big. (I am making a circle with my hands that is like the size of a medium pizza, but you can't see it because this is the Internet)
You can add some chopped shallot if you want to get fancy (and you do want to get fancy, right?)

Put the pan on medium-high heat. Cut the bacon into little squares, not as big as Scrabble squares but about as big as Chiclets, using the scissors. Trust me on the scissors, it is impossible to slice bacon with a knife unless you use a scalpel. Put the bacon in the skillet and wait until you hear it start to hiss. Then drop the garlic, which you will have diced or squashed, into the bacon fat. If you are being all fancy with your shallots, put the chopped shallots into the pan.

Let them cook until everything smells all garlicky and wonderful, but not until they are brown. Then dump the spinach in and put the lid on. When the spinach on the bottom of the spinach-pile gets wilty, turn the spinach over with a wooden spoon so the spinach on the top gets wilty. When that is wilty, take the lid off, let the steam dissipate, then put a gluggle or two of red wine vinegar on the spinach and cook a little while longer, until the smell of vinegar is gone.

This is a good salad to make if you are cooking dinner for someone you want to impress, because it's easy enough that you can memorize the recipe (what, recipes? I am so awesome I don't need them. Let me refill your wine glass.) and it's pretty fancy to cook your salad, right?

Dump it in a bowl. Don't forget to scrape out all the delicious bacon bits and juice. Eat the whole damn thing. And have a beer.

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